THE PRICE OF TRUTH
Article by Amy Wagner, Photography by Levi SzekeresBetween the ages of eight and eighteen, I was a forced into Catholicism by family members intent on passing on their religious legacy to me. It didn’t take. Before I was introduced to proper religion, though, I was a spiritual child. I liked the idea of angels bouncing around on fluffy white clouds and enjoyed looking up at the blue sky on warm sunny days. I remember thinking that whoever created all of this must be a kindly being – sort of like E.T. Then, I learned about hell and its blazing fires and my happy sky-gazing days were over.
As I’ve grown and changed, so has my idea of religion. It’s no longer hushed and sacred. In fact, it’s marketable and trendy, which means religions come and go, but when fly-by-night faiths like Scientology are hot, they’re burning! I decided to explore Kabbalah. While the writings of this avenue of the Jewish religion might be thousands of years old, it has recently become popular on the celebrity circuit with both Madonna and Britney Spears drinking Kabbalah water and speaking of the newfound wisdom the teachings have brought to their life. Since there was a Kabbalah Center in New York City, I decided to stop by and see what all the fuss was about. Maybe there would even be a “message” worth hearing.
It was on one of our first snowy days that I visited the Kabbalah Center. After shivering my way across town, I found the interior of the Center instantly welcoming, with comfortable couches and warm leather chairs resting on a cream-colored stone floor. Incense burned faintly, and candles accented the room so perfectly that Martha Stewart would have been in awe. Bookshelves lined the walls, and I didn’t have to look too far to find Madonna’s Kabbalah-based children’s books. I was only there a few moments before I was warmly welcomed by more than one staff member. I was even hugged. All were interested in how I came to know of the center and if I had had any previous knowledge of Kabbalah.
Slightly stunned by such enthusiastic greetings, I headed upstairs for the free introductory lecture. The setting was a little surprising. I had been expecting a lecture hall with some sort of video equipment but instead, I was led into a sparse room. A lectern was positioned in front of a standard school-room chalkboard. Chairs and several round tables covered by white table clothes filled up the rest of the room. I chose a seat and was soon chatted up by a staffer. In only a few minutes, we had an enjoyable conversation and exchanged the usual getting-to-know-you pleasantries, including where we grew up, what we had studied in college, and what professions we were pursuing. As the time for the lecture neared, only one other person, a struggling actress, joined me for Kabbalah class. I was told this was unusual, and there were always 25-30 people, but it was obviously “meant to be this way” this time. My fellow student and I were soon joined by our lecturer and three other staff members who initially took seats in the back of the room. Over the course of the lecture, they kept moving in closer and closer, until they formed a half-circle behind us.
Our teacher that night was a young Israeli man who managed to get the word of Kabbalah across somewhat coherently, but what I was truly amazed of was how familiar and goal-oriented this view of the world was. As an exercise, we are asked to name our goals. I said to write a great American novel, and my classmate, the actress wanted to be famous before she was thirty. We were then told about the “chaos” in the world and how we all need to seek “energy” in order to become “vessels of light.” Only by turning on the “light” in our lives would we be able to understand the “cause and effect” nature of the choices we make. And it is that understanding that supposedly holds the one-size-fits-all key to achieving whatever you want, whenever you want.
It’s nice to know there’s something that’s so easily applicable to all shapes and sizes of wants and desires but – in our modern “self-help” nation, in the age of Oprah and Dr. Phil, when everyone is in therapy – the idea of understanding why we do what we do to improve one’s life is hardly a revolutionary concept. I’m sure that it was thousands of years ago, but the pages on the calendar have flipped a few times since then. I think most children learn in kindergarten that actions have consequences.
As soon as the lecture ended, a pricing sheet with class listings was thrust in front of me, and one of the staffers instantly pulled his chair in close to mine. As he launched into his fervent pitch about how ten sessions of a Kabbalah Level 1 course, at a cost of only $243.00, would “change my life in amazing ways,” I politely declined saying I would “have to think about it.” My fellow student was getting the same offer and also refused to bite.
As I left building, I was both disappointed and slightly amused. After being introduced to Catholicism as a child, I thought exploring another religious belief system on my own, as an adult, would be somewhat easier. I knew what I was looking for now in a faith and what questions I wanted answered about this life and the one beyond. All I ever got from Catholicism in the way of answers was that every member of the human race sins everyday, so you’d better go to confession regularly. When I tried to ask questions to see if the teachings of Kabbalah would be right for me, the only answer I got was that the lecture was “not the place for questions.” I would have to take a class (i.e. pony up the bucks) for that.
So, I guess every foray into the teachings of a particular faith has its price. At least Kabbalah does seem to offer some definitive answers for the price paid now, compared to Catholicism, where you’re constantly running the risk of paying later for what you do today.
